We have all experienced situations we couldn’t avoid or have people in our life where we are not able to distance ourselves from. Whether it’s in your workplace and you have a horrible boss or colleague or a family member that criticizes you and have difficulties communicating with. We can get very affected by people or circumstances that leave us drained, frustrated, angry or sad.
Maybe you have tried different strategies to overcome these situations, and weren’t able to and became even more frustrated by it. I know how that feels. I had many experiences like these, especially with awful bosses. And I remember trying numerous ways to help deal with it, however nothing worked. I was sad every time I went to work, I would go back home sad and frustrated not only with them but mostly with me, because I was allowing myself to get so affected.
Of course, if you feel miserable in your job, and you are able to, then I would strongly advise quitting and looking for something that is more enjoyable, where you are happier. However, if for many reasons you are not able to do so, or you have a person in your life that you don’t want to /cannot distance yourself from, then some strategies described below may be able to help you.
1 – SHIFTING YOUR PERCEPTION
Try to look for positive aspects of the event or person. Nothing or no one is 100% bad or negative, so allow yourself to look at it at a different angle and find a positive aspect. It’s important to keep reinforcing this positive perception many times, so it is easier to root it on solid ground. Although this is indeed very hard to do, specially because the negative aspects tend to overwhelm most of our perception, this technique will simply allow your anger, hate or frustration to dissipate and lose its power and control over you.
When dealing with people, if you cannot find any positive quality in them, than just simply by viewing them as a divine being just like you with all that it entails, might help.
2 – NOT TAKING IT PERSONALLY
When we are suffering we tend to reinforce our negative emotions which, in turn, makes any situation worse than it already is. The same thing happens when we take everything too personally, and we tend to get triggered by the smallest things that happen and overlook the things that are truly important.
Events that may occur that may not be so positive, are not a part of a malefic divine plan to punish you from past mistakes, they may just be opportunities for you to evolve and learn. And many times people say or act in negative ways not because they want to purposefully hurt you, but because they are hurting and don’t have the personal tools to properly deal with their emotions and instead take it out on you. Not taking things personally helps gain a bigger perspective on things, attain some distance between you and the person, and avoid creating misinterpretations and conflict.
3 – CONTROLLING HOW YOU REACT
We might not have the power to control what is done to us, but we are able to control how we react to it. We have the choice on how we want to respond to a given situation. Your mental and emotional suffering depends, to a large extent, on how you respond to difficult situations. If you choose to feed your anger and hurt, then you will certainly add to the suffering. You have the power to disrupt or to keep your peace of mind, and you have the choice to relinquish it or not.
Reacting in a peaceful and objective way, will allow the difficult situation to lose its hold on you. Take a moment to answer these questions before making your choice: “Is this really worth my time and attention?” “Is this worthy of disrupting my inner peace?”
4 – REPLACING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WITH POSITIVE ONES
By simply replacing negative thoughts with its opposite (positive) thought can greatly reduce its impact on our emotional and physical well-being. This strategy acts as an antidote for negative states of mind.
Of course, this technique seems simple enough, however for it to work we need to be very conscious and mindful of our thoughts. Positive thought reinforcement is such an important tool to release these negative thought patterns that keep us trapped in deluded suffering.
Final note
Please allow time and space for these techniques to work, and keep training your mind to work in your favour and not against you. You are worthy of having a more happy and peaceful life. Don’t wait for the outer circumstances of your life to achieve it, but create it for yourself!
Love and light! xx
